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  • marzenaskowronska

Musings On Surrender

Updated: Nov 10, 2021

Have you ever allowed yourself to truly SURRENDER? I have. And now cannot live any other way. It’s a very vulnerable yet empowering way of living. Living from a place of complete non attachment and trust.

Photo: Fraser Island, April 2019

Surrender and trust in the mystery of life.

It’s not the same as “go with the flow”.

Surrender is about intentional work, commitment to our practice. Trust in the practice. Rejoicing in the practice without attachment to the outcomes.

The outcomes will come when the time is right.

Surrender is about trust in the intrinsic go(o)dness of the Universe.

Surrender is about knowing what we have and do not have control over, and focusing our attention only on the former. It opens our door to freedom.

How tiring is trying to control something we cannot…

But releasing the control is a courageous act.

It is an act of surrender.

It’s profoundly liberating.

It frees the energy that was previously used for controlling the uncontrollable, so it can be used for creating; to work on, focus on what we have control over. To do our practice. Once we become really present and from that place and space find true satisfaction in who we are and what we do, the rest won’t matter.

It’s not the results, the outcomes that define us. Ironically enough, they will come.

But whether they do or they don’t is not of our concern. They are beyond our control.

And because they are not to fulfil us, but rather fulfil our life’s purpose.

And this is given.

That’s why we are here.

Trusting in that 👆🏻 is the act of surrender to the mystery of life.

Illustration: Poem from my upcoming poetry book "When She Rises"

When we want change, a change for better, we need to let whatever is standing in a way to fall away, to be dissolved. It requires death... We need to let some part or parts of ourselves die... and it can be confronting. It can be confronting, because our society feels uncomfortable with death, even though it’s a natural part of life. It can be confronting, because we may not know what must die for the new to be birthed. We might be okay when we know that what will “go” is what we don’t like about ourselves. But often it’s something much deeper than the outer expression of what we want to change. What if the part that we need to let go off is the one we are really attached to, is an important part of our identity? Letting that part die can be confronting or even scary, as we don’t know who we will be without it. And even more importantly, how will we be perceived by those around us when we change, when some familiar parts of us will be missing... Oftentimes the latter one can hold even more power and resistance (than the former one) that prevents us from evolving. Why to risk being rejected, why to rock the boat, life’s good as it is. Or is it really? Is the “comfort” of sitting in the familiar yet stifling bud better than the opportunity of coming to blossom into the unknown?

Once we find the inner resources and true connection with Life itself, we cannot help but keep surrendering. Because Life keeps evolving and expansion is the only natural way.

The metaphor of chrysalis, i.e. the metamorphosis of a caterpillar into a butterfly and how it can be related to our lives has been a great companion on my personal journey of surrender and transformation. Check out my blog “Winter, Chrysalis and Tapping Into Infinite Potential” for more.

To deepen the subject of presence and satisfaction read my blog ”Are You Enough Or Still Searching For More”

Photo: visual representation of surrendering into transformational processes. Imaginaria, Brisbane, September 2021

The outcomes are never certain. But if we continuously show up for the practice, trust the process and let the practice be our fuel and sustenance, the rest will take care of itself. This is what I came to know to be true. Click here to read my poem Soul Led Life for my poetic take on surrender into life, surrender into the unknown. The poem is my daily intention as well as my daily practice.

Reflection Exercise 1:

Notice how you feel after reading this blog. Has anything stood out for you, resonated or triggered you? Start with just noticing. Becoming curious about your own reactions, thoughts and feelings. Without judgement or criticism. Just a simple observation. As if you were a complete stranger to yourself. Notice. Without attaching any meaning to what you think or feel. Becoming aware is an entry point to taking control of our life story. Reclaiming our power to consciously (re)write our life story is (an ongoing process) that starts with being able to observe, to see what's happening before we respond. There's a difference between reaction and response. Reaction is often unconscious, navigated by our habitual self. The response is a deliberate action. To respond we not only need to be able to be aware of the habits and programs that animate our life, but also consciously choose to enact them (if we like them and they serve us) or create new ones. It all starts with awareness though. To become aware is also a choice. And it requires practice. The more we practice awareness though mindfulness practices (e.g. mediation, yoga, journaling), the more mindful and aware we become in our life and reclaim our power to consciously create our life story.

Reflection Exercise 2:

In the below quotes from “The Practice” by Seth Godin I invite you to exchange the word “professionals” for “fulfilled (or happy:) individuals” in the first quote and “work” for “life” in the second quote, read them again and notice what is arising in you... thoughts, emotions, whatever it is. Observe it with curiosity without trying to understand or justify the meaning. If you'd like to explore further, once you noticed what is, you can mediate or ponder on what it means to you. Why you may be feeling or thinking what you do. What is the "story" you attach to it. What's shaping the lens (e.g. life experience) through which you give this particular and not other meaning to what you read. Do it without judgment and criticism. Treat it with respect as an important knowledge, a valuable insight regardless if you like it or not. Regardless, it holds an information beyond out feeling towards it. What is more, if we like what we see, we can keep it. If we don't, we will have something to work on. We need to know ourselves to be in charge.

“Seeking your calling gives you a marvelous place to hide. After all, who wants to do a difficult work that doesn’t fulfill us. Who wants to commit to a journey before we know it’s what we were meant to do. The trap is this. Only after we do the difficult work, does it become our calling. Only after we trust the process, does it become our passion. Do what you love is for amateurs. Love what you do is the mantra for professionals.”

“Reassurance is futile and focusing on the outcome at the expense of process is a shortcut that will destroy your work.”

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